You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT