Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.