I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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