dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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