Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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