I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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