you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize