dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
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Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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