We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
