Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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