I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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