No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
