she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
