Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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