just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
sex in a hospital.. check
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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