he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
