On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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