Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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