I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
