literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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