sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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