I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
