It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
