he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
