I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
jump out the window naked night went bad
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