Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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