Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
