I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
