i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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