once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
