hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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