it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
