Christians are straight up FREAKS
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
