you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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