we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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