you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
