In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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