My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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