Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
