I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Bring me that man meat
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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