I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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