Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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