i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
