Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
