Please, let me fuck your mom
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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