you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
