Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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