They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FUCK WHALES
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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