Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.