Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
