Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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