I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
