just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
