...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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