I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize