Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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