i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
