I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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